Holding abel a little tighter today

So it has been a very long time since I have posted, I guess time and priorities and life has taken over.  I feel I need to post today as I cant seem to get all my thoughts straight on life today.

I woke up this morning to an announcement on a Facebook page starting a little boy with cancer that I have been following had suddenly passed away this morning. He was only 15, I feel as if life is unfair for no reason. His mother and father are suffering their second loss of a child, as they lost their daughter to this same disease a few years ago. I can't seem to make sense of why they have to go through this,  not once but twice.  I am looking at abel and thinking I would lose my mind if anything ever happened to him.  I cannot even bare the thought of it,  yet right now I feel as if I am one of the luckiest people in the world.  I feel awful for feeling that way,  greedy almost. 

I'm thinking it's christmas and it's not fair,  but who am I to decide what's not fair,  I am not this boys parent, I really can not state what or how they are feeling.

I have so many feelings today that I am at a loss.  I think parents period are the strongest people in the world.  I am so very proud to be a parent but parents of children  who are ill, suffering and may not make it, we'll simply put your heroes.  You are stronger then me. I wish I could do anything even if it was only spend five minutes of time to help in any way.

I met an amazing little boy name Ryan the other week, he is only 6 years old and has leukemia. I have been thinking about him everyday since I heard and can't seem to think of what I can do that would actually help.  I read his moms post on his Facebook page and just get utterly excited when I hear he has had a good day or night and then I get devastated to hear he has had an ounce of pain  or a rough moment or hour.  I think how wonderful and strong his parents are.  It was such a pleasure to meet them and especially Ryan, definetley the strongest little boy I have ever laid eyes on.

I wish there was a way to save the world,  but I know people will tell me without suffering without pain the world wouldn't be the world.  I am just one person, just a mom who cares, if anyone reads this I hope just for a moment you will be in my state of mind this morning wondering what you can do to help. Anything at all is better then nothing, whether it be a simple hug and hello or as an amazing person in my life has accomplished for Ryan an auction to help him and his family. We gave a simple present in hopes it will put a smile on his face if only for just a moment.