*First Trip Away..and bringing daddy home*

...scary very scary my first time leaving him for a full night, oh the things that race through your mind..? things that you know probably could and would never happen but hey you have to think it because you are a mom and because that is your reason for existing that you are taking a minute away from. I trust my parents with our lives but leaving him with them for 2 nights without me to see or talk to was hard, I knew they would handle it fine, but would Abel? Would I? 

The airport departure was the hardest saying goodbye. Once on the plane and several phone calls later before i took off I was calmer. I arrived in Nf, only to realize after yet another phone call he will be fine and take this time because you are not always so lucky to get a breather. I missed him so much but the nights were the hardest expecting to get up and not having to but other then that the two days went Farley fast and then Josh and I were on our way across the island in the Mazda RX-8 haha , jam packed full of stuff.

We skyped with mom and dad and Abel on the boat on the way back to Nova Scotia, so that helped and then we docked and got int he car and headed home to start our forever life with our baby boy. It only took 6 hrs yay!!!

Josh, Abel & I settled into living together and our new lives great, it was meant to be and will always be meant to be. Josh loves working for Smartforce in Halifax office, I love spending my days cleaning and playing and cuddling with Abel, and making supper for Josh when he gets off work. I especially love our car rides with Abel to get out of the house!

April soon came and it was Abel's christening, such a difficult subject, some people agree or disagree on it for many different reasons and you do it either for your own reasons or specifically for your child, I did it for Abel so he can make his own decision when he gets older.

So April 15th 2012, Abel's Christening day! 

We had many family members attend this wonderful celebration of our babys life, From Newfoundland we had his Godparents Sam & James,Grandparents Best & Uncle Luke Best Grandparents Dale and Uncle Robert Dale, Great Grandmother Dale and Dora, From Nova Scotia his other two amazing Godparents Samantha Rae and Shawn, Emilio and Isiah, Milly, Sissy, Patty, and Grandparents Dawe and Josh and I. It was a beautiful ceremony held at St. Andrews church in Cole Harbour, we appreciated everyone's attendance during and afterward.

*2012* Yikes* Our very first few months..

....Yikes is right January was the longest month of my life days were long & nights were even longer, but every day and every night when my son was laying in my arms finally asleep after the 2 am bottle and diaper changes, instead of sleeping i would just stare at him and see how perfect he is (Even if it was only an hr he was asleep) No matter how tired you are it is the most amazing feeling in the world becoming a mother, having a baby who thrives on your attention and love, you will never experience a more beautiful thing then the love of a mother to their child and a child to his/her mother.


We had hard moments where he just wouldn't stop screaming, I thought it was something I did or didn't do, or that he hated me but no it was just both of us getting use to each other, and figuring out what my baby boy needed whether it was milk or a diaper change or just a cuddle or even just to cry so much learning! 


It was finally February, after a month of skyping with daddy he would finally be back soon! We couldn't wait, he so badly missed his baby boy and I, as we missed him. When he showed up he couldn't believe how big he had gotten in just a month, and how attentive he was. He had changed so much in such a short period of time skype just didn't do him justice. We both realized at that point it was going to go by fast he would be changing and learning every single day, we shouldn't take it for granted at all. In the blink of an eye our baby boy was going to be 2 months old...


So in February Abel started eating rice cereal, the milk just wasn't filling him up so a tsp 1/2 of cereal mixed with milk, he loved it!! Daddy took us to his very first needles appointment, so happy Josh did because I couldn't handle it, it hurt and it was scary! Daddy held his hand and made it easier. 2 needles one in each leg and a mouth full of rotarix it was over finally. Then sadly two days later daddy was leaving again, but when daddy got back next time it would be for good! We couldn't wait! We would be a for real family living day to day with each other!


Abel just kept changing, 1st cereals to more milk intake about 6 ounces a feeding 5 bottles a day but the craziest change was in March when one night he stayed asleep all night then the next and the next and so on which was scary because did i get more sleep nope i stayed awake all night checking on him freaking out checking his breathing the works of it, which is normal you are going to panic when your 2 1/2 mth old decided to sleep through the night. I did this for several weeks sleeping during the day and staying up all night , then we decided I was going to leave baby for the first time and head to Newfoundland for a 2 day visit to go get daddy! .... a trip away form baby at only 2 1/2 mths old you say bad, but really it is ok to leave it is good for you and baby when you have help to take the time you need away, as hard as it was it was also very refreshing! Abel was getting very attached to me and nobody else could put him down or calm him, he needed his mama, which is amazing and great but no good if you do need a night to yourself and have a babysitter. So Newfoundland it was....

*Our whole new life...

....so we are in the hospital for one night and one night only, I was determined absolutely determined to get home for Christmas Day. Josh's family arrived later that afternoon so Josh Mom and Dad left and went home to meet them, oh boy was I scared the first time I would be alone with Abel, we would get to know each other now, I knew that would be our time to become close in a different way then before see each other for the very first time. My mind was scattering thoughts of what if he doesn't like me, what if I cannot do it right? how will I know when he needs to be fed or sleep or anything???? 

I kept my phone close while everyone was away and called the nurse several times for information, crazy of me yes but I was a new mommy, in a very uncomfortable bed and barley able to move especially not very fast...what if he needed me and I couldn't get to him fast enough or what he needed fast enough? also it was his first bath ever, the ladie came in and said you watch and learn. I watched and my heart just sank he cried and cried and cried, I hurt.

There is no pain worse then hearing them upset, still to this day that sound breaks my heart.

Anyways he had his very first bath screamed and hated being cold, so cute he was and he was mine. After that it was time to settle in for a bottle and a nap, a nap wow it sounded amazing for the very first time since I gave birth to him we would both sleep, cuddled together. I was a mom with a baby who needed my warmth and comfort nobody else's. All the scary thoughts and panicking went away at the very moment i had him in my arms and he closed his eyes. We slept.

Ok so enough with that same day we had visitor after visitor, cuddles pictures and that was the end of Christmas Eve, the most absolutely perfect Christmas eve ever, Our family's became one and we all shared a little miracle baby boy.

Josh spent the night up with Abel all night and walking him around the hospital into the wee hours of Christmas day morning. He was a Dad now sleep was out of the picture and he had the most perfect look on his face of love just pure love every time he looked at Abel, so it didn't bother him at all. Christmas Morning everyone showed up with breakfast and we were told more then likely I would be getting released as long as Abels blood work came back alright, well it did and sure enough I got my way and we were home that afternoon, ready to have a somewhat traditional Christmas, It was different being home but it felt so good, we opened presents shared some laughs I napped occasionally in the chair, Abel napped and fed every 4 hrs around about.

The next week was very tiring even with all of the help from our family's. Abel had his very first checkup at the doctor he was a strong healthy baby boy! We celebrated a wonderful New Years with our family. Josh had to leave January 2 sadly and go back to Newfoundland for work, the next time we would see daddy face to face would be on Feb 12, 2012. So here we are just Abel & I, for the next month or so, everyone gone back to work and gone back home. Let's just say we figured it out but it took time and lots of it.!....