*Our whole new life...

....so we are in the hospital for one night and one night only, I was determined absolutely determined to get home for Christmas Day. Josh's family arrived later that afternoon so Josh Mom and Dad left and went home to meet them, oh boy was I scared the first time I would be alone with Abel, we would get to know each other now, I knew that would be our time to become close in a different way then before see each other for the very first time. My mind was scattering thoughts of what if he doesn't like me, what if I cannot do it right? how will I know when he needs to be fed or sleep or anything???? 

I kept my phone close while everyone was away and called the nurse several times for information, crazy of me yes but I was a new mommy, in a very uncomfortable bed and barley able to move especially not very fast...what if he needed me and I couldn't get to him fast enough or what he needed fast enough? also it was his first bath ever, the ladie came in and said you watch and learn. I watched and my heart just sank he cried and cried and cried, I hurt.

There is no pain worse then hearing them upset, still to this day that sound breaks my heart.

Anyways he had his very first bath screamed and hated being cold, so cute he was and he was mine. After that it was time to settle in for a bottle and a nap, a nap wow it sounded amazing for the very first time since I gave birth to him we would both sleep, cuddled together. I was a mom with a baby who needed my warmth and comfort nobody else's. All the scary thoughts and panicking went away at the very moment i had him in my arms and he closed his eyes. We slept.

Ok so enough with that same day we had visitor after visitor, cuddles pictures and that was the end of Christmas Eve, the most absolutely perfect Christmas eve ever, Our family's became one and we all shared a little miracle baby boy.

Josh spent the night up with Abel all night and walking him around the hospital into the wee hours of Christmas day morning. He was a Dad now sleep was out of the picture and he had the most perfect look on his face of love just pure love every time he looked at Abel, so it didn't bother him at all. Christmas Morning everyone showed up with breakfast and we were told more then likely I would be getting released as long as Abels blood work came back alright, well it did and sure enough I got my way and we were home that afternoon, ready to have a somewhat traditional Christmas, It was different being home but it felt so good, we opened presents shared some laughs I napped occasionally in the chair, Abel napped and fed every 4 hrs around about.

The next week was very tiring even with all of the help from our family's. Abel had his very first checkup at the doctor he was a strong healthy baby boy! We celebrated a wonderful New Years with our family. Josh had to leave January 2 sadly and go back to Newfoundland for work, the next time we would see daddy face to face would be on Feb 12, 2012. So here we are just Abel & I, for the next month or so, everyone gone back to work and gone back home. Let's just say we figured it out but it took time and lots of it.!....